


New Union

by Sadie (Jokie155)



Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Original Character-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26661715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jokie155/pseuds/Sadie
Summary: In the wake of a battle with the Lucian Alliance, Lieutenant Michelle Lake of SG-7 comes to terms with the death of a Tok'ra host she saved the symbiote of.
Kudos: 3





	New Union

“Trauma team standby! We have a heavy casualty incoming!”

The gate room was bustling with airmen and medics alike helping the wounded off the ramp and landing zone. Most were SG teams as well as general airmen, the rest were the few members of the Tok’ra cell they had just evacuated. Almost everyone who had come through had been wounded in the severe gunfight with the Lucian Alliance, the aggressors that had prompted the evacuation to begin with.

“Make a hole!”

Dr Lam was leading a triage bed right through the scattering of people too dazed or pained to move elsewhere initially. When she finally reached the end of the ramp, she left the right side clear for any others to make their way through as quickly as possible.

Once in position, she looked up to the control room where General Landry was observing.

“What are we looking at? Gunshot wounds? Heavy artillery.”

“High-calibre gunshots. Severe bodily trauma and blood loss, that’s all we’ve been told. Stand by.”

A few more Tok’ra stumbled through, some leaning on their human counterparts due to leg injuries. A sadly common pattern amongst many of them. The invading forces had a clear pattern of shooting to maim where possible, likely for capture.

“Which one’s the trauma case?”

“Colonel Reynolds says ETA fifteen seconds.”

Lam rolled her eyes while looking back towards the gate. Having to direct those incoming away from the bed wasn’t putting her at ease. With every second, less would be coming through as the evacuation drew to a close. The heavy case being at the back of the group wasn’t good either.

Eventually, the loud ripple of two people emerging caught her attention. A younger member of SG-7, carrying a Tok’ra woman in her arms. How she was able to do that given her size was a question put to the back of her mind as she directed her to the bed at last.

“Oh god.”

Even before the woman was laid out, she could see a number of horrific gunshot wounds in her torso. At least four exit wounds, high-calibre as described. Compared to the others who had been maimed, it was brutal.

“Dr Lam to surgery, I need MRI and CAT scans ready as soon as possible! Prepare for immediate shrapnel extraction, blood transfusion and trauma suppression!”

She got up onto the bed railings as it was wheeled out towards the infirmary at speed, already starting on efforts to stem the bleeding throughout.

“Start closing the wounds! We need the cranial scan to check the status of the symbiote.”

“She’s not in her!”

Lam looked up briefly to see the lieutenant that had carried her to the bed stumbling after them. There was a bullet wound in her right arm, and small blood splatter across her tan skin and dark hair, but she looked more distressed about the Tok’ra than herself at that moment.

“What do you mean?”

The lieutenant tried to swallow at that moment, but instead ended up coughing a trail of saliva and blood.

Immediately, Lam’s eyes went wider as she understood the truth. “I need a tank prepared with symbiote suspension fluid immediately!”

The Tok’ra’s situation was dire by the time they reached the infirmary. Already packed with the wounded coming in, they had barely managed to keep the surgery bed open.

“Move on three. One, two, three.”

She and the others switched her unconscious body to the larger bed smoothly, for what good it would do. Even with the symbiote, the damage was so severe that her chances of pulling through were borderline in the best case. And without, practically non-existent.

“Malek! I need you here!”

The Tok’ra in question hastily left his subject of healing to rush to Lam’s side. He was equally shaken when he saw the other’s condition.

“Nefara. Sina.”

“Do what you can to close the wounds. We’re setting up for transfusions to get her blood pressure back up.”

Already doubtful of her chances, Malek nonetheless set about starting the healing device over the wounds in her body. After a few seconds, he came to realize the core problem at hand.

“Sina. The symbiote… Where is she?”

Lam could only motion her head as she put every bit of effort she could into trying to save Nefara. Malek did the same, focusing intently on the healing, though his eyes were now following the lieutenant on the other side of the room.

Her whole body was shaken, her head swaying about in clear dizziness, a frantic look in her eyes. 

Malek’s own eyes narrowed in deep confusion. “How did she-”

The long blare from Nefara’s vitals monitor drew his attention back. Despite both their efforts to fight the odds, her wounds were simply too devastating to come back from at that stage.

Much as she didn’t like it, Lam immediately began shifting her attention to the others in the room. “I’m sorry Malek, but we need to make sure she’s the only one today.” When she noticed the lieutenant’s state, she looked around the room again in her own growing concern. “Where’s that tank?”

Shortly after, two nurses wheeled in a large tank of water concentrates, moving it to a secure space where it wouldn’t get in the way of continuing triage.

As soon as she saw it, the lieutenant lunged right for it, her whole body starting to convulse. Looking ready to vomit.

Her hands gripped the top of the glass sharply as she threw her head right over the bubbling surface, and allowed the symbiote Sina to vacate her body at last.

Almost immediately, she collapsed back, on the verge of hitting the floor before Lam and Malek both caught her and carried her over to another bed.

“Lake! Come on Lake!”

Lake remained conscious as she went through the recoil of what she had experienced, trying not to cough or swallow more of her own blood as the exit wound slowly sealed itself. The last of the symbiote’s residual presence keeping her from choking completely.

When the convulsions stopped, her first glance was to her direct right at Nefara. Despite her best efforts, she had failed to save the host as well as the symbiote. And it was already starting to crush her in despair.

*

“I want to know what went wrong.”

In the hours since the evacuation, there were only nine fatalities total. Two SG personnel that made it back to command, another three back on P2X-918, in addition to three Tok’ra. Nefara was the only Tok’ra to die on base.

Even with the ratio of survivors being quite high, as over twenty were evacuated total, Landry was still clearly upset in every way. Right down to the tone of voice in his demand for answers.

Malek remained silent for the moment, feeling more inclined to defer to Landry on behalf of the Tok’ra present at the meeting.

Teal’c and Daniel were already considering their answers on the matter. The other SG team leaders involved were present down the line from them, Colonel Materson of SG-7 included.

Eventually, Daniel was the one who first felt ready to speak up.

“I hate to say it, but we might be facing a situation identical to at least two other cases in the past, both involving the Alpha Site.”

Malek nodded at that. “I was there the first time, Dr Jackson. I would hope that the answer as to who revealed our position to the enemy this time does not remain unresolved, as it did then.”

“I know. I think it should take even more priority given the enemy is now the Lucian Alliance, not Anubis.” He glanced around at all the confused looks he was getting for that remark. “It’s one thing to be betrayed by someone serving a semi-omnipotent being with advanced technology at his disposal. Now, if someone did in fact sell out the Tok’ra to the Alliance, they did it willingly. And quite possibly for simple greed. That’s arguably a much more dangerous motive, because it means it will be easier for others to do the same.”

His point became clear enough to the others after that. Many of the Tok’ra looked to each other with concern, and especially anger over the notion. On the opposite side of the table, the SG leaders were nothing short of disappointed in the notion.

Teal’c took his turn to speak shortly after. “It is highly unlikely that the Jaffa are to blame in this case, though I am unwilling to rule it out. Trade between the Free Nation and the people of that planet was rare, but did occasionally happen. It would require extremely specific coincidences for a trader to become aware of the Tok’ra presence, and to subsequently come into contact with the Lucian Alliance in a manner that would encourage them to divulge that information.”

“Right, so we shouldn’t go overboard on trying to investigate that angle. The final alternative is that the Alliance is simply escalating their surveillance game. The attack made clear that they are ready to bring new developments in their own weaponry to the front lines. It’s hard to curtail their growth as is. If they did in fact uncover the Tok’ra presence through their own resources, it could be the first step towards an all-out war with the rest of the galaxy.”

Materson was solemn as he sat up, being simple and straightforward with what he had to say. “Maybe we should consider taking more of the fight to them. They’ve had it coming after what they did to Icarus Base.”

“As much as I might sympathise, Colonel, right now I am not looking to start off a new galactic war.”

Landry leaned forward over the table, having remained standing for the duration. “I am much more interested in ensuring that this kind of attack is not allowed to happen again. Especially when it’s the Tok’ra being targeted.”

Malek lifted his head, curious as to where Landry’s line of thought was going.

“It’s been a hard fight getting to this stage. We lost a lot of good people to the Ori on every side, I don’t want to see that repeated in fighting the Lucian Alliance. If and when we dismantle their organization, I want it to be done cleanly.”

He glanced at his watch after that. “And that concludes our initial meeting. Malek and I will be handling the debriefings together, you’ll be notified when it’s your turn. Dismissed.”

As the room began to disperse, Landry motioned for Materson while moving towards his office, followed by Malek as well.

“We’ve decided to hold off on Lake’s debriefing for the time being. Obviously we both want to know exactly what happened with Sina and Nefara, but not at her expense.”

Materson took a long breath. He had only briefly seen Lake since their return, and compared to when they had last spoken, her distress had made him uneasy. The only solace so far was that both leaders were taking her condition seriously.

“Thank you, sir. I know she’s not entirely green, but I’ve been reconsidering whether she was ready for getting into heavy assault. Today definitely did a number on her.”

“If you speak to her soon, I would like you to convey the gratitude of the Tok’ra to her.” Malek remained quite solemn as he said that. “I take no offence in the thought that she may be uncomfortable around us for a while yet, thus I will not approach in person. Nevertheless, what she did for Sina was very brave, and we all respect that act greatly.”

It didn’t sit all that well with Materson, only having heard about what happened in the infirmary. Though he did his best to remain diplomatic all the same. “I do hope it was a brave gesture, like you’re assuming. She’s got a lot to bounce back from on her plate already. I’ll pass that along when she’s awake again.”

He left the pair at that, returning to the slow departure of the group at large.

Landry turned to Malek shortly after, doing his best to smile. “I do appreciate your understanding, and willingness to wait on finding out what happened.”

“Circumstances have changed, General. We will certainly mourn Nefara’s death, as we will celebrate Sina’s preservation. I do not for a moment believe it was a case of Sina merely abandoning her host of twenty six years. She must have known the damage was too extreme.”

“We’ll find out for certain soon enough. Sina’s status in the meantime is of course under the discretion of the Tok’ra. If you want to have her relocated from the base, we’ll make arrangements for her safe transport..”

“As you say, General. Though, for the time being, I think it best that all Tok’ra remain here, until we are certain of where the intelligence leak lies.”

“You think it might be a spy after all?”

Malek tilted his head upward. A subtle gesture of having to swallow his self-assuredness, as it were.

“It was my stubbornness that resulted in the death of Ocker, many years ago. And as proven, a spy can easily be unaware of their own status as such. I will not repeat my mistakes.”

“We have a Za’tarc detector stored on base. The debriefings will be a good time to make use of it. I suggest we save deeper questioning for a case-by-case basis.”

“Agreed. By your leave, then. I will inform the rest of my people.”

Landry motioned his hand at that, watching Malek depart for a few moments before turning to enter his office.

Already, he was faced with the grim duty of filling out and signing four killed-in-action reports. Letters to the family of each would come later, once the mood had settled and he was better able to stomach the process. The only positive so far was that the presence of the Tok’ra ensured there wouldn’t be a fifth report, or more, to fill the following morning.

*

Late into the night, Lake had been released from the infirmary.

Her first destination wasn’t her bunk, but the mess hall. At that hour, and in the middle of night shifts across the base, she knew it was going to be virtually empty.

The bright lights of the hallways, and the mess itself, only added to her still dazed state of mind. By all accounts she needed more time to recover, if at least in her own bed. The arm wound was the only real physical damage to be addressed, but the mental recovery was a different matter.

She stood in the doorway of the mess hall for several seconds on arrival. Staring around the room, never at any specific point. Her next move was to a vacant table at random, not even bothering to look at what might have been left ready on the night menu. Her appetite was there, but so easy to ignore.

After the long day of combat, her arrival in the infirmary, and waking up hours later once her arm had been stitched up, it was the first time she had true silence to herself. Nowhere to go, and nothing to do but think.

But then, the only thing she could picture, and hear, was the moment where it all went wrong.

Nearly a dozen shots ringing out behind her. A searing pain in her right arm. Her body shaking as four bullets burst through her torso. The tremble through the searing pain in her arm as she fired wildly in the direction of those shots. The way her head was spinning as she fell to the underbrush. Every bit of the sharp pain of the back of her throat, that even now still throbbed whenever she swallowed.

Always wondering what she did wrong. What she missed. The many ways in which she should have been able to save both host and symbiote.

“Mind if I share the table?”

Lake looked up from her introspection, half expecting to see Materson standing there on reflex. In hindsight, it was unmistakably General Landry’s voice, though even after seeing him it took a little longer for her to sit up to attention.

“Sir! I-”

“At ease. You’re off duty, remember?”

She shrank back down a little after that. Being mentally trapped in the combat moment made it easy to forget where she actually was.

“Yes sir. And no, sir, I don’t mind sharing the table all.”

Landry nodded in his bemused way as he sat down opposite her. He actually had come down to get something to eat after the long night, but that had been put aside for a much greater need when he noticed her on arrival.

“Call it a grim tradition, but I make it a point to meet with every one of the survivors of a combat engagement once the formalities are dealt with. If only to thank them for coming back alive.”

Lake’s eyes went right down towards the table. Staring deep into the fabric, focusing on every imperfection. Anything to keep her mind from wandering off completely again.

“I didn’t do enough. I’m sorry sir, I really don’t feel like I deserve thanks for anything I did today.”

“That’s entirely understandable, and far from unheard of. Many of us feel that we should have done more, that’s how hindsight works. Failure despite our best efforts is not something to be ashamed of.”

It got a small sign of relief out of her, which is all Landry had hoped for. He relaxed back into the chair to further put her at ease.

“Now that you have something to think about later, perhaps it’s time we had that one-on-one you’ve been putting off since you got here.”

The hints of a smile on Lake’s lips broke into a proper one as she looked back up. “I was worried it’d be really awkward. And, I was really focused on getting onto my first off-world mission. Getting to meet and help out entire new cultures, that’s most of why I joined.”

“There you go, I’ve learned something about you already. I already know you’re a good fit for SG-7, and now I understand a little more of why that is.”

Lake started to drift back towards her idle staring after that. “I guess I prefer working in the background, letting the others do the talking while I get things done. It’s worked so far, until now.”

“This isn’t a debriefing, and you’re not on trial. However much it may feel like you’re to blame, the most I can advise as your superior officer is that you focus on the lives you did save today. Letting one death overshadow the living is a hard obstacle to overcome, believe me.”

Following that, he sat up a little more, preparing to depart as soon as he was done. “I’m going to ask you to strongly consider visiting the base counselor when possible. What you say to him remains between the two of you as a matter of policy. It won’t have any bearing on the debrief. And, when she returns, I’ll look into seeing if Colonel Carter can put some time aside to talk with you as well. She knows what you’ve been through, that kind of understanding is invaluable. If you agree, of course.”

“I’ll try and keep the latter in mind.” Lake chewed her lip in thought. “I promise I’ll show up for one session with him. After that, I don’t know.”

“Not a fan of psychiatrists, I take it?”

“I feel awkward talking about my feelings, no matter who it is.” She rolled her eyes with that with a haphazard tilt of her head. “Then again, here I am, doing it anyway.”

“You’ll get the hang of it. And remember, it’s merely a request, not an order or command. How it affects your future deployments will be up to your CO. I have a lot of confidence in Materson’s judgement, don’t be afraid of being open with him as well.”

Landry stood up at last after that. He looked back over the cafeteria briefly, then opted to settle for a stop by the coffee machine instead.

“We will have to debrief at some point, but the Tok’ra and I both agree that it should be after you’ve had time to come to terms with what happened. There are larger concerns at play.”

Lake remained where she was a while longer, though she did eventually turn on the seat, right before Landry left again.

“General? Thank you, sir. For everything you’ve said.”

He smiled in response, nodding in his usual way. “I’m more than the uniform and stars, when I’m not busy at least. Focus on recovery, we’ll handle the rest.”

After he left, Lake slowly turned back in her seat, now feeling less inclined to go back to her blank staring. The talk had definitely taken her mind off the worst of the day, but she could feel that she was still far from getting over it.

*

Compared to the mess hall, the isolation lab adjoined to the infirmary was dark. Many of the SGC personnel wounded in the attack had since been transferred out to off-base hospitals. Only a few Tok’ra were in need of extended treatment, leaving the infirmary itself over half empty when she got there.

Her pace was slow nonetheless, every effort made to not disturb the resting patients as she made her way closer to the lab. When she reached the threshold, she took a deep breath and looked inside the room.

The tank containing Sina was parked inside, kept at an angle where the built-in illumination to prevent bacterial growth wouldn’t leak back into the infirmary. The symbiote itself was still moving about the tank freely. By all accounts, as healthy as she could be under the circumstances.

Lake was already feeling an urge within to go closer. A subdued, internal drive for answers. Relief for the conflict of memories surging through her head.

She stopped herself from entering in the end. The more level-headed side of her wasn’t willing to take the chance that she would do something stupid, especially if unsupervised.

Her departure from the infirmary a few moments later wasn’t the end of her attempt to resolve the sensation drawing her there. To her relief, when she arrived at Dr Lam’s office, she was still in there. Saving the awkwardness of trying to find her in the corridors, or especially having to wait until morning.

A hesitant knock at the open door was all she could manage. Even after being waved in, she was still trying to work her way up to speaking clearly.

“Lieutenant Lake. Are you having trouble with the arm still?”

Lake shook her head at that. Then, after reaching a hand up across her tied-back hair, she forced a pained swallow down to clear her throat.

“I, uh, need to see Sina. And I don’t want to be alone for that.”

Lam’s posture changed at that moment, becoming a lot more stern as her concern grew considerably.

“The fact that you’re already concerned about viewing the symbiote alone leads me to believe you know that’s not a good idea.”

“Please. I don’t know how to explain what exactly I’m feeling right now. I need to see her, up close.”

Silence persisted as Lam thought it over with great consideration. Anyone could see the desperation hidden behind Lake’s face. Confining her would possibly be enough to make the problem ease on its own, or it could make something they had yet to uncover worse.

“Alright. I’ll accompany you. But it is strictly viewing. No contact with the tank, and especially no leaning over it. Otherwise I’ll need to have you barred from the infirmary until circumstances change.”

“I understand. Thank you, Dr Lam. I need to do this, and then I’ll go sleep the night off, I promise.”

A short time later, they were moving back through the infirmary again, that time with Lam taking the lead so that she could check on the tank’s status first.

Lake waited to the side at a fair distance, clutching at her wounded arm with the other while she watched with intent.

“Everything looks secure. I don’t know what you expect to happen from looking closer though.”

After several breaths, and a few more swallows, Lake began approaching the tank very slowly. Her eyes traced Sina’s path on a constant, unable to look away as the draw of her presence grew stronger again.

She stopped right in front of the tank, keeping upright as instructed, instead reaching her hand out towards the lower half of the large glass panel. Making it as clear as possible that she had no intention of reaching in.

Eventually, after some nervous glances from Lam, her hand touched the glass itself. It was warm thanks to the regulation of the tank’s contents, with the tiny vibrations of the air cycling system throughout ringing clear into her hand.

She drew a nervous breath as Sina herself swam closer to where her hand was pressed. For several seconds, she became convinced the symbiote was looking back up at her. It wasn’t at all like making eye contact with Nefara of course, and yet the strangest familiarity remained. Somehow, she could still picture the two as one being, despite what was clearly in front of her eyes.

The moment passed with her pulling her hand away with a small gasp. Sina returned to her default path throughout the tank right after, as if nothing had happened.

Lam made another check of the tank before looking to Lake again. “I’ll admit, I’m not sure what to make of your behaviour right now. Mind filling me in?”

Lake rubbed the middle of her palm with her opposite thumb, her gaze torn between that and the tank. A part of her was still rational, and reminding her on a mental level that it was all simply memory nonsense, and nothing more. She had to make sense of it on her own.

“When a, uh, symbiote blends with the host. How long does that take?”

“Blends?” Lam glanced at Sina yet again, then started moving towards Lake once focused on her again. “In theory, depending on the age of the symbiote, anywhere from hours to mere seconds. But regardless of that, once the blending begins, the symbiote can’t detach itself for a significant amount of time afterwards. There’s no way Sina could have somehow blended with you in the short time you carried her, and then left so abruptly, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The extensive answer didn’t put Lake at ease entirely, though she was less visibly shaken afterwards. Gradually, she moved back towards the nearest wall, eventually resting her head against it. It was the only sensation of stability she could get while her mind was racing with further confusion.

“I remember helping them escape on foot. I also remember limping on one leg where I’d been shot. I remember getting shot in the arm-” She reached up to the respective bandage to demonstrate. “-and I remember getting shot through the chest.” She then moved her hand to point at the four locations exactly matching Nefara’s fatal wounds. “I remember firing on the one who attacked us, and I also remember collapsing at the same time.”

Both hands went up to her face as she exhaled, trying to move past the stress of reliving both sets of memories. One was definitely more real than the other, but she also knew that the other was very real in its own right.

“How do I have Nefara’s dying memories, if Sina didn’t share them? Am I going crazy from the trauma?”

“I don’t have a concrete answer for you. And before you think about going to Malek, I’d recommend you try getting some rest first. If you’re still experiencing what you believe to be shared memories by next morning, I’ll discuss it with him until we come to a real conclusion. ‘Going crazy’ is not the answer here.”

Through a lot of pauses, hesitations and other confused moments, Lake finally accepted tat Lam was in the right. Sleep seemed difficult while her mind was still racing, but sooner or later she’d have to give into it anyway.

“Alright. I’ll try and sleep. Can’t promise how that will go. Thanks for not shutting me down, doctor.”

She departed the lab with the same consideration as before, leaving Lam to ponder the question posed a little more. The next day would prove to be even more busy, for both herself and the Tok’ra, it seemed.

*

“Okay. It’s a bullet.”

Dr Lee fumbled around in a weak attempt to allay Cam Mitchell’s skepticism. Both he and Landry had come down to the ballistics lab on his insistence, and so far neither were looking impressed.

“Yes, at a glance it looks like a standard .45 calibre bullet in an armour-piercing mould. This was brought back by SG-3 during the latest mission. They were able to capture one of the new weapons being deployed by the Lucian Alliance, and this is one of the surviving cartridges that hadn’t been discharged or damaged in any way.”

He moved around the table to a stack of microscope photographs taken, laying them out across the surface for better viewing by the pair.

“We’ve assumed for a while that the Lucian Alliance have been using our own weaponry previously captured by the Goa’uld over the past decade. I’m starting to wonder if it’s a case more like the Genii, in which one of its member-cultures created firearms of their own accord in a case of parallel development. This bullet however, is different.”

Landry was only lightly looking over the microscope photos, as they weren’t all that relevant to the end point he was after. “How so?”

“Well, we’ve captured Alliance weapons in the past, and they’ve typically relied on more typical jacketed designs. There have also been signs that the production process they use is, well, inferior to what almost all world militaries here employ.”

Lee gestured towards the bullet in question again, very carefully picking it up to demonstrate. “This armour-piercing bullet has less than ten percent of those telltale flaws. The conclusion is that they now have the means to produce high-velocity anti-personnel weapons to a much greater quality than before. We’re running some tests with what captured rounds we have, but right now, I’m starting to worry that their firearms will become significantly more lethal to SG teams in the near future.”

It had taken a while for him to get to the point. But once it had been made, Mitchell looked right to Landry with every bit of concern.

“I hope you’ll agree that we need to shut down wherever they’re making that ammunition as soon as possible. We probably won’t take all of it out of circulation at once, but we’ll definitely stand a much better chance if they can’t use it freely.”

“Agreed. In light of this, I think I’ll reconsider my stance on a measured response to their aggression. They’re clearly ready to ramp up their own attacks.”

Landry turned back to Lee again. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. If you have any means of tracking down where these bullets are being made, inform me immediately. I’m going to start putting the word out with her allies; try to track the production down through conventional means. Anything to help narrow that search down will be invaluable.”

“Well, I can’t promise anything. For all we know right now, the metal used could be a mix of ore from a dozen different planets. But we’ll look into it regardless.”

“We’ll leave you to it then.”

Landry left the lab immediately, with Mitchell following soon after once he had mulled it over more.

“Sir, I know Carter’s still not back yet-”

“I can’t authorize going after the Alliance at this time, not while I still have three SG teams recovering from their losses.”

“I know, sir. And I’m not about to ask that SG-1 be sent out to go kick the proverbial nest.”

“So what did you have in mind that doesn’t have to wait for Carter and the _Hammond_?”

Mitchell stopped after that, moving to one side of the hallway to keep it clear. “I know you have your hands full trying to figure out how the Tok’ra came under attack. Vala is our best connection to the criminal network of the galaxy outside the Lucian Alliance. Jackson can go with Teal’c to coordinate with the Jaffa, I go undercover with Vala to approach things from another angle. Carter can come pick us up when she’s in the area, and we might be one step closer to canning this problem before it gets out of hand. Less of those weapons in circulation, less of our people getting shot with them.”

In the face of that, there was little left for Landry to argue.

“Alright, bring SG-1 up to speed on that plan, make sure you’re all coordinated. Do keep in mind that I won’t authorize a direct strike until we have the manpower to ensure success. Gather intel, make contacts, and come home if you do track down the facility’s location. No extra diversions to try and blow it up on your own, even if it looks promising. Clear?”

“Yes sir.”

A little later, Landry finally returned to his office. Along the way, there had been quite a few pauses to answer questions and give quick approvals to the more immediate needs of the Tok’ra on base. The situation wasn’t going away quickly, even if he and Malek were spending as much time as possible on the debriefs. It was far too complex for that alone.

As if to prove that, he found Lake waiting in his office ahead of him. The way she sat up and saluted in a plainly anxious way gave him an idea of what to expect.

“At ease. I suppose Walter was getting around to mentioning that you wanted to speak again.”

Lake tilted her head around awkwardly. “He said it’d probably be okay if I waited in here. Didn’t want to page you from more important meetings.”

Landry nodded with another bemused smile, motioning for her to sit back down while he closed the door. “I think at this point, you qualify as an important meeting yourself. If this is about the debriefing, then I’d still recommend seeing the counselor first.”

“He’s, uh, busy with Private Verne. They, uh, lost their leg in that fight. I really didn’t want to take attention away from them when they need it most.”

“Commendable, lieutenant. So, this isn’t about the debriefing then, I take it?”

Lake nodded again, chewing her lip with more plain uncertainty on display. Waiting in the office was easy. Speaking up about why she was there was proving to be so much harder.

“General, I…” She took one more swallow. In that case, it was almost fitting. “I’d like to volunteer as Sina’s new host. Full time, joining the Tok’ra, whatever’s involved.”

That took longer for Landry to process. It really wasn’t all that surprising a request given the experience she had been through, but at the same time, virtually everyone had expected her to be apprehensive around the Tok’ra because of it. The exact opposite seemed to be true.

“Lieutenant, let me say right now that I can’t approve that kind of request on a whim. Given recent events, while I’m not going to flat out say no, I do feel I have an obligation to ask that you strongly reconsider.”

It was the kind of answer Lake had expected to get. The second most likely was the shut down, and distant after those two was approval.

“I do understand how it looks. And I’m willing to wait. Just really had to say something.” She took a few long breaths. Getting that much off her chest had been a challenge, and she wasn’t done. “General, can I speak freely?”

“Go ahead.”

“I know Dr Lam is your daughter, but I feel like you understand where I’m coming from better than she does. I’m not asking you to overrule her judgement in anything, it’s not like that. I think she simply doesn’t believe I’m capable of making good decisions right now, and I don’t want to be judged based on that.”

“Dr Lam is very good at her job. And while I do value her opinion as a professional, I can also make the assessment that no-one who comes back from their first full combat mission is clear of mind less than a day later. It’s a universal fact of being a soldier that no amount of training will ever truly overcome. That is the position from which I’m considering what you’ve just told me.”

Lake sank back into her chair a little more. She was in fact reconsidering things like he had asked, feeling more reassured out of respect for his experience than the rest.

“The reality is, lieutenant, that you’re a very different case from Jacob Carter. In fact, I don’t believe your situations could be any more different. But I’m still going to take this request seriously, and I’m sure Malek will as well. He may feel this isn’t a suitable time for such a discussion, and I wouldn’t blame him.”

Slowly, Lake tilted her eyes downward, chewing her lip for a while. “Neither would I, sir.”

“Good. I expect the end decision to be respected, whichever way it goes. I think it’s also fair to say that you are of course free to change your mind after the fact. As are we all.”

There was a longer pause. Lake was really taking her time in thinking it over again. Trying to move past the mental draw, the desire for clarity in her extremely confused state of mind. And to ask herself if it truly was more than guilt behind her request.

“To be honest, General. I’m not sure counselling is right for me at this time. I really would rather go through the debrief first. If I’m going to talk it all out, I’d rather do it as part of the report than a shrink session.”

“I’ll consider it, lieutenant. I’m not going to argue if you’re absolutely sure you’re up to it.”

“I don’t feel like any other course of action is going to help. And this time, I’m saying it after having slept things off.”

“Alright. I’ll speak to Malek about all the relevant things I’ve been made aware of. You’ll be informed when we’re ready to debrief you. And don’t treat the debriefing like a trial for becoming a Tok’ra host while you’re at it. I expect professional behaviour when the time comes.”

“You’ll have it, sir.”

“Excellent. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I’ll schedule it for within the next forty-eight hours. Dismissed.”

Lake stood up for a parting salute, then promptly left the room.

It gave Landry a better chance to sit and ponder the request in full. While the day ahead was already busy, the chance to solidify relations with the Tok’ra was definitely worth his attention. Even if it didn’t actually lead to an active member of the SGC joining their ranks just yet.

*

“Chevron Four encoded.”

Daniel was the last of SG-1 to arrive in the gate room, fitting his sidearm into place on the way. Teal’c was already in his Jaffa robes, while Mitchell and Vala were both outfitted to pass as rather generic criminally inclined lowlifes.

“Okay, so we’re clear. You two-” Mitchell gestured to Daniel and Teal’c for clarity. “-are out there asking about anyone who’s been making inroads with the Lucian Alliance on the ground level. Preferably without mentioning anything to do with kassa. They are of course still bitter about losing out on that market share, and we don’t want to provoke Alliance yahoos over their lost corn.”

“Chevron Five encoded.”

Teal’c lifted an eyebrow at it all.

Daniel shrugged belatedly in his place. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem, seeing as the Jaffa declared kassa an illicit cargo over a year ago. Anyone who’s selling it on the black market won’t fall for talking to us anyway.”

“Chevron Six encoded.”

“Right. The two of you are more well known, so you’re getting the half where it doesn’t matter anyway. Which leaves us two.”

As he said that, Vala playfully attached herself to his arm with a matching grin.

“After arrival, we gate to P4X-892, which I know for a fact is a bustling hub of Alliance hopefuls looking to buy their way into the initial tier of the hierarchy. Lots of thugs, traffickers and all sorts of wonderful people eager for some knuckleheads to push their agenda and kickstart their criminal careers. And with any luck, we find one that’s looking to recruit some muscle into the weapons market.”

“Chevron Seven locked.”

“Muscle. Right.” Mitchell rolled his eyes while unapologetically pulling free of Vala’s grasp, as the stargate went through it’s usual stabilizing process.

She was already letting go in response to his sarcasm that was blatantly directed at her.

“Okay. Muscle and brains then. We make quite the team.”

“Not in this universe.”

The banter ended when Landry readied the loudspeaker, bringing their attention to the control room.

“SG-1, you have a go.”

“Let’s move ‘em out, people.”

As SG-1 ascended the ramp towards the gate, Malek watched from the viewing room, having arrived from another prolonged visit to those in the infirmary minutes earlier.

“We place our hopes in SG-1’s abilities yet again, it would seem. A decisive end to those weapons will bring comfort to the Tok’ra.”

“No argument here, Malek. I bet there’s going to be a lot of Jaffa who will be equally grateful. And ordinary humans who stand up to the Alliance for that matter.”

Landry gestured to the stairwell upstairs once the gate disengaged. Now was a good a time as any for their extended talk. “If all goes according to plan, and they are fortunate enough to uncover the factory without being compromised, I’ll be leaving the option open for the Tok’ra to join the assault. We’ll be looking to destroy without inflicting significant unnecessary casualties, might serve as a needed morale boost.”

Malek smiled softly at the notion of Tok’ra seeking vengeance, though wasn’t dismissive of the proposal. “Most of us do not take gleeful satisfaction in destruction. Once I’m confident of who to trust however, I will ask for those who are more inclined towards such an attack.”

At the top of the stairwell, Landry continued on towards the office once again. “I take it the Tok’ra Council agreed with your decision to stay in lockdown?”

“They did. And they agreed not to send further forces here for the time being. We have also decided that the bodies of all three hosts killed will remain here, as will the two symbiotes that died with them. With your permission, we would hold our traditional funeral rites in this place, alongside those of your own forces killed in action.”

“You have it. Some of my people are being taken back to their families for burial according to their own rites. We’re still arranging the details for those to be given a military send-off. I’ll make sure that it’s coordinated with Tok’ra rites.”

“That is most gracious of you, General.”

“I can think of few higher honours than commemorating the dead as allies. They all fought for the same cause after all.”

When they finally arrived at his office, Malek chose to remain standing for the time being, while Landry took to his chair once more. The Tok’ra had more to say at that point.

“There is one request then, with partial regards to Sina. It has also been agreed that she will remain here for the time being, until the crisis has ended at the very least. Her symbiote-mate, Jastur, wishes to come here ahead of the funeral. Valence, her host, was also close to Nefara. It is expectedly a difficult situation they now face.”

“I leave that at your discretion then. It sounds like she’ll be staying for the funeral anyway, so reminding her of the security lockdown would be a mere formality.”

“She has been made aware of that, yes. I will inform you of her expected arrival time after next contact with the homeworld.”

“That indirectly leads me to something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you. You’ll probably want to sit for this one, it’s going to take a while.”

Malek had a quizzical look about him as he moved to the waiting seat. “In regards to Sina, I assume?”

Landry gave one of his bemused looks. As usual, he was readying for a blunt approach to the topical. “I spoke with Lake early this morning. She wanted to volunteer as Sina’s new host on a long-term basis.”

That earned a proper head tilt from Malek right as he sat down. A real pause for thought.

“I see.”

When done thinking, he tilted his head forward to cover the eyes, the reason made apparent when he looked back up following the exchange of control.

“Then this falls more under my purview. I’m Caleb, Malek’s host.”

He reached his hand out to Landry, odd given that they had technically already met a long while ago. The shake was given regardless.

“Not one for talking that much, I take it?”

“Call it an old habit. I’ve always preferred letting Malek speak for us both in most cases. Though when it comes to guiding potential hosts in the ways of the Tok’ra, that’s always been more my speciality. Obviously I’m not actively looking to recruit Lieutenant Lake, but I can still provide advice on this matter.”

“Good, because quite frankly I’ve been at a loss for how to proceed. As I told her at the time, she’s different from Jacob’s case entirely. There’s a lot more variables and factors that we all need to consider, as well as the fact that this could be establishing a new precedent. Not something I intend on taking lightly.”

“Very commendable. I’d be glad to discuss the details to your satisfaction then. I’ll admit, I had a feeling this was coming after our conversation with Dr Lam earlier.”

Landry retrieved a sheet of paper from one of the drawers of his desk, handing it over to Caleb for his own review. “I’ve listed most of the points that came to mind off the top of my head. There’s plenty more that I’m going to ask other SGC experts to weigh in on, before we even consider formulating an official protocol.

In short time, Caleb was already reading through the list with great intent. Nodding with approval at many of the points already presented.

“Yes, I concur with many of the notions listed so far. I certainly had no misconceptions about the fact that Tau’ri hosts are a far more complex prospect than those from other worlds.”

“It’s a lot to think about. How does rank apply if a junior officer is granted superior knowledge and experience through their symbiote? Where do we draw the ratio on SGC and Tok’ra deployment time? Do they remain at their current station, or do we form an entirely new division for blended members? Do we give priority to those who will receive relief from physical ailments as a benefit of the blending over healthy candidates?”

“Some factors are at least much more straightforward, as you’ve clearly noted, General. Consent of the host is of course a requisite by Tok’ra law. That nullifies personal objections automatically. We have since reinforced that law after the incident with Kanan and O’Neill.”

“Right now, I’m faced with the exact opposite problem, which is what I want to get at primarily.”

Caleb nodded with a knowing look. “You believe Lake wishes to become a host for the wrong reasons.”

“It’s obvious that she feels guilty for Nefara’s death, regardless of what we’ve all done to try and ease that. But in her case, I’m also concerned about what it will mean for her future, especially outside the Stargate program. How it will affect her on an individual level.”

“You believe that she may be overwhelmed by Sina’s personality?”

“She’s young, and while not all that impressionable, she’s not the assertive type either. Apparently you have quite a bit in common actually, she says she prefers being productive in the background while others handle the people skills.”

The thought amused Caleb enough to bring out something of a smile. “I do understand your concern, General, though I would say it is not nearly as weighted as you might think. It is true that there is some exchange of personality traits between symbiote and host, Tok’ra take efforts to ensure that neither overwhelms the other. We do in fact encourage an even balance of assertion to that end, something I and Malek work to maintain with ourselves. Sina overwriting the personality of her future host is not something she would allow.”

“That’s one less concern to shoulder the burden of then, and the biggest one I had about approving Lake’s request. I did tell her I would take it seriously, and in turn told her to not treat the debriefing as some kind of interview.”

“I thought you intended to hold off on that. It would seem she has already successfully persuaded you in one regard then.”

Landry chuckled at the observation, since it hadn’t occurred to him before then. “I suppose she did, at that. Still, if you want to see it as an opportunity to assess her in a more honest light, then you can do so. I’m going to insist that she be absolutely sure before going ahead with full approval.”

“I have no issue with any of that. It makes logical sense.” Caleb reached up to his lips after that, coming to a related thought. “Would you agree to Jastur and Valence being given an opportunity to speak with her? It could help Lake better determine whether becoming Tok’ra is the correct choice or not, if she were to understand that blending with Sina entails sharing her feelings for others to a degree.”

“I hadn’t considered that angle. The same would prove true in the reverse case, there are plenty of people in this command that have partners and other close relations without existing knowledge of the Stargate program, let alone the Tok’ra. We have to be very careful about bringing them into awareness of the program, if they then decide they aren’t comfortable with their partner becoming a host.”

“A much more difficult scenario for the Tau’ri then. For understandable reasons, of course. But as you say, opening this alliance further does require considering these smaller impacts. It is better this way, than treating the blending as a decision based purely on strategic and tactical gains.”

With another sage nod, Landry sat forward a little. “As far as I’m aware, Lake has no current interests of her own in that regard. One less detail we can leave for later, hopefully.”

“That would certainly make things less complicated. It seems she is proving to be quite the candidate after all.”

“I want her decision to be informed and rational, and that means as full an understanding of what she’ll be in for as we can feasibly provide.”

“Then we have our work cut out for us, as the saying goes I believe.”

“We can conduct the debriefing when you’re ready. I think it would be better done before the arrival of Jastur and Valence.”

“Malek and I both agree on that front, yes. He would like to convey Lake’s account of events to them in person. And I believe it will be better for all if they know what happened before meeting with her in turn.”

“Sounds like we’ve got a solid schedule to work from. I’ll make the arrangements.”

*

“Hey hey! Look who’s up!”

Lake lifted her head from idly pushing half a potato around a pool of gravy. The rest of SG-7 were making their way over, Materon helping Jayce along with her crutches in the confined space while announcing their arrival. Liam wasn’t far behind, making his way over to the queue instead.

Jayce herself looked to be in better shape already, which did lift Lake’s mood a little more.

“So, what’s the verdict?”

“Five weeks on crutches and in the brace, then three weeks with just the brace. That’s the official recovery plan. I’m on the waiting list for some of that magic healing nonsense, might be back in the field in less than a month if I’m lucky.”

Materson clapped her shoulder lightly once she had settled into the chair opposite Lake. “I’m counting on it, Major. Can’t have you missing out on when we go kick some Lucian ass.”

He looked back to Lake at that, taking note of her quieter-than-usual behaviour. “You doing alright, Michelle? Liam’s been wanting to ask about what it was like being a snake-head for a while there. Figured I’d phrase it better.”

“The phrasing could use some work, sir.” She started to slip back into the potato-pushing. “It wasn’t like what any of you are thinking. No glowy eyes, no weird voice. That’s all I want to say about it.”

“No problem. So long as it’s not impacting your recovery, that’s all I need to know. Keep each other busy while I sort out Jayce’s get-well lunch.”

Lake did her best to not go back to full recluse as soon as Materson walked past. She and Jayce were able to get along professionally, but there was never any real friendship beyond that. And yet, she couldn’t help the feeling of obligation to converse in that moment when Jayce started it up.

“How’s the arm?”

“Doesn’t hurt that much. I can wait it out. You’ve already talked about the leg, I guess.”

“Yeah. It’s not the first time, and I already know what it’s like to be out of active duty for two months. Really hoping that they can cut that time in half.”

“Wouldn’t be the same without you in the field. Guess that’s the burden of being the specialist.”

Jayce shrugged at that, using the moment to quickly adjust some of her deep maroon hair out of the way. “It wouldn’t be the same without you either. One of the best flanking scouts I’ve worked with.”

That brought on another wince from Lake that she tried to conceal. “Out of how many?”

“Five, actually. Three of them transferred to Atlantis, funnily enough. Kinda surprised you’re sticking with us.”

Lake nearly dropped the fork she was using to push the potato around. Worse still for her was the fact that it gave the wrong impression entirely. She simply didn’t know how to go about the truth.

“I’m not looking to go visit another galaxy anytime soon. Even with gate travel both ways. I can practically hear my parents nagging me about not coming to visit enough.”

“And they aren’t cleared to know about the program, right? I think you mentioned this.”

“I don’t think Landry would approve giving clearance to the entire neighbourhood as well. And everyone at their local grocery store. And the rest of the family back in Korea.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Going to Altantis might not stop the nagging anyway. Knowing you’re in another galaxy, well, they’ll expect long distance calls instead.”

“What a comforting thought.”

Jayce laughed at the clear displeasure at her notion, because it meant she had succeeded in her real goal.

“See? We can talk about other things. You don’t have to be stuck in that one moment. Try not to let the others bother you too much, okay?”

It was more inspiring for Lake than she let on. And it had indeed been a welcome distraction from thinking about the previous day.

“When I can get what happened straightened out in my own head, I’ll talk about it. I promise.”

“It’s your choice, Michelle. Merely letting you know that at least one other person gets it.”

After nearly ten minutes of stirring the half-potato around, Lake finally caved it in. Her appetite was starting to return at last.

“Well, if they ask, tell them that mouth-to-mouth with a Tok’ra hurts like hell. It’s not funny.”

*

The meeting room felt tense. Lake was situated with her back to the stairwell, facing Landry and Malek as the latter prepared the Za’tarc detector. Repeatedly, she had been assured it was a simple formality as part of the investigation. The sight of it still put her on edge.

“Will I have to use one of those needle things, sir?”

“Malek?”

“Use of a memory recall device is at your discretion, lieutenant. Dr Lam did speak to us of your issue with converged memories, thus I would recommend its use.”

The decision was straightforward enough. And a sharp sting to the temple was still mild compared to being shot through the arm.

“Alright. So long as it’s not on display.”

“I have already disabled that function.” While finalizing the settings, Malek pulled an individual device from the main machine and slid it over to Lake.

With a bit of hesitation, she got the gruelling task of installing it done as quickly as possible.

“Yeow! They really weren’t kidding about these things.”

“Unfortunately, there is little getting around the necessity of establishing such a connection between the brain and the device. Try to calm yourself, then we can begin.”

Through nods, and later regulated breathing, she worked through the residual sting until it was only a dull soreness on the side of her head. When the others sat down, she shifted herself upward again to begin the debrief.

“Alright, I’m going to establish a baseline. Please state your name, place of birth, and military rank.”

Lake was about to answer, then quickly looked to Landry. “Just my English name? Or both?”

“Whichever you prefer.”

She nodded quickly, then looked right back into the scope of the detector. “Michelle Lake, born Myung-Hee Hosu in Daegu, Korea. First Lieutenant, United States Air Force, stationed with SG-7. My commanding officer is Colonel Materson.”

“Very good. Now, General Landy will finish the baseline with randomly selected questions. You are free to decline answering any of them, they are of no significance.”

“I understand.”

Malek looked to Landry for the go-ahead once he had calibrated the detector. “Proceed.”

“Who was the first person to set foot on another planet?”

“Ernest Littlefield, who stepped through the stargate in 1945 onto Heliopolis, where he was left stranded. That and technically the moon isn’t a planet, so I wouldn’t answer Neil Armstrong.”

“Fair enough. What year did the Florida Marlins win the World Series?”

“2003.”

Malek glanced downwards, having no context for that question at all. More confusing was the proud smile it earned from Landry himself.

“Where did General Custer make his last stand?”

Lake came to a pause as she tried to think that one over, unsuccessfully in the end. “I don’t think I paid attention during that part of history class, sir.”

“That’s okay. What’s your favourite colour?”

“Magenta.”

“That will do. The device has a sufficient baseline to correlate from. I’m going to activate the recall device momentarily. You may experience strong random memory recollection for a few seconds, please prepare yourself.”

“I’ve been having that a lot this past day, it feels like.” Lake closed her eyes for a few more regulating breaths, doing what she could to clear her mind. Anything to minimize the chance of being flooded with recollections. “I’m ready.”

Her preparations still weren’t enough to keep a slew of flashes throughout her mind. Moments from her very early childhood in Korea, the move to Idaho, joining the air force, and in particular the day she was invited to join the Stargate Program.

The rumours and off-hand stories she had heard about the devices digging up unsavoury memories had thankfully proved untrue for her. There were just as many that she had already worked hard to move on from.

“Device is stable. The general will lead you into the process of recalling the events.”

“SG-3, 7 and 10 were deployed to P2X-918 to assist with a covert evacuation. SG-10 was ordered to maintain a presence at the gate. SG-7 was to secure the route, while SG-3 provided a distraction for the Tok’ra cell to begin leaving their outpost. The Lucian Alliance attack began soon after.”

Lake nodded as she closed her eyes again. Exactly as described, her memory of those events were returning with great clarity, more than she had imagined was possible.

“As the one with scouting expertise, Colonel Materson ordered me to survey the surrounding area for signs of a forward advance. I was thus split off from the rest of SG-7 when the attack began.”

*

As soon as she heard the sound of an incoming death glider, she went right down to the ground.

The thick dark green scrub was more than enough to keep her hidden from above, even with the tree line over a hundred metres behind her.

While going for her radio, she listened carefully to count the number of gliders above. Ten seconds after the last, she finally made contact.

“Lake to SG-7. Count five, repeat five death gliders bearing on SG-10’s position. No sign of ground movement at this time. Advise course of action.”

“ _Lake, this is Materson! We are under fire from air and ground! Do not approach at this time! Maintain position until instructed otherwise!_ ”

“Understood! Maintaining position. Will attain cover in the immediate area. Do I avoid engagement entirely?”

“ _Affirmative, Lake! There are isolated Tok’ra out there, I may need you to provide escort! Do not engage unless fired upon! Check your targets!_ ”

“Understood! Lake out!”

With more scrubland before a river, and grassland beyond that, her nearest option for cover was the treeline back the way she had come. Crawling a hundred metres through such dense vegetation was going to be difficult, which made the temptation to stand up and run that much stronger.

“What I’d give for a shroud right about now.”

Very carefully, she started moving up to a half-kneeling position, keeping her head and shoulders as low as possible. It gave her room enough to make a combat check of her weapons to ensure she was ready to fire. Then, with a tense breath, she lifted her head above the scrub layer.

No sign of Alliance troops in the entire area. So far from what she had gathered from reports, the vast majority were more like thugs than anything, hardly the sort to gear for full stealth.

The direction of the gliders gave her enough assurance to start moving with her back towards the treeline as her destination. It afforded her a wide angle of the river approach, as well as the sky above in case more gliders appeared on the horizon, or from outside the atmosphere. So far, she couldn’t see any Ha’tak through the blue haze.

It occurred to her then that there were no Al’kesh bombers in the air, meaning they had to be grounded or stationary for deployment. Hardly in keeping with their use as widespread suppression artillery.

Reaching the treeline gave her a chance to huddle back down in greater cover than before. With her back to a particularly large tree trunk, she was effectively invisible to the river approach.

“Lake to anyone able to respond. What’s the current engagement? I’m not seeing orbital or aerial support of any kind in my location. Still no sign of approaching ground forces.”

“ _Verne here! There’s at least thirty ground troops converging on the evac route! Counted nine gliders! Three destroyed, another damaged and retreating!_ ”

“Any indication of Al’kesh approach? What about troop movements?”

“ _Negative! We have no clear vector of their approach! They’ve got this entire path encircled!_ ”

Verne’s voice vanished from the line for several seconds, leaving the sound of gunshots and zat’nik’tel blasts to echo through the radio. The Tok’ra had at least made it part of the way along the route. Arguably better than being trapped in the outpost with no way out.

The continued silence made Lake’s concern grow. It was the kind of sickening feeling that she had been told to prepare for many times in training.

“Verne? Lake to SG-3?”

“ _Materson to Lake! Verne’s been hit, awaiting extraction! Friendly reinforcements inbound on our position! Relay location for further instructions!_ ”

“Copy that!” A quick glance at the compass, and mental recollection of her steps gave her the needed pointer from where she was relative to the gate. “Get all that, sir?”

“ _Affirmative! Proceed on this heading at speed!_ ” Materson listed out the exact numerical direction to her. “ _A Tok’ra named Sina has failed to report in! You’re looking for a wooden building along a well-travelled dirt road! Be wary of flanking hostiles in the area! Do what it takes to get her back here!_ ”

“Understood! Heading out now!”

Effort went into remaining hidden behind the tree as she stood up. With the P90 in hand, she made another cautionary sweep of the approach once ready. Still nothing and no-one in sight. It was bringing on the depressing notion that she had gone in the completely wrong direction, by pure chance.

Her position secure, she began heading out in the intended direction at a brisk pace. The road in question she had crossed earlier on, which gave her a rough idea of when to expect to see it. There hadn’t been any sign of a building at the crossing point in either direction.

Somewhere around the four hundred metre mark into her trek, she began to hear the very edge of the firefight through the thicker part of the forest. Every step towards the Tok’ra meant an increase in the chance at spotting a footsoldier. Her grip tightened from that point forward.

The gunfire was much more audible when she finally reached the dirt road. Enough for her to know that there wasn’t any bombardment from the death gliders she had seen going on currently. Small comfort in the heat of the moment, but concern over Verne’s fate demanded taking any minor victory she could to heart.

Some minor adjustment of her heading pointed her in the direction of the building. Soon enough, she caught sight of it at last. A trading post fixed in the middle of a small clearing, with a smaller path leading in the vague direction of the gate. Likely a recent development once the locals no longer had to fear the arrival of the Goa’uld.

“Alright. Don’t get shot, especially not by friendly fire. Get in, find the Tok’ra, book it to the gate. Easy.”

Her eyes were on constant sweep as she approached the trading post. While she couldn’t let her sight linger on it, the brief passes did make her aware of bullet impacts around one of the broken windows. There had already been a shootout, and she couldn’t see any grey uniforms or brown leather outfits amongst the underbrush.

She altered her approach towards the building, leaning more towards the front door and away from the window’s line of sight. If Sina was still watching through it, obscuring the road approach would be bad for them both.

Eventually, when she reached the stalls outside the post, she lowered her guard after one more survey of the facing forest. Still no sign of approaching enemies.

“Sina? I’m Lieutenant Lake, SG-7. I’m here to escort you to the gate.” There was no response, though she was keeping her voice down to begin with. She wasn’t sure that Sina was alone in there after all. “I’m coming inside now. Hold your fire, please?”

With her weapon kept low, she turned around the doorframe into the dark rooms of the post itself. No lighting inside, and the tree cover above meant a considerable lack of vision for her at first. Every step along the floor kept her nerves tense. Wood panels and a rug were marred with chips and glass.

In the middle of the building, she stopped at last, lowering her weapon fully. Now that her eyes were adjusting, she could see Sina’s host pressed against one of the walls, clutching at her left leg with one hand. The other was shaking as she struggled to hold the zat’nik’tel up in the direction of the window.

“Sina?”

“Nefara, in this case. Sina’s doing her best for the leg.”

Hearing the proper acknowledgement put Lake at ease, something she was in need of. A quick duck under the window’s sightlines brought her to Nefara’s position. It was a good chance for her to rest, and attend to the leg wound at the same time, made easier now that she could make use of her torch.

“The other SG teams have come under heavy fire, as you’ve probably heard. I don’t know how many Tok’ra are with them, but I’m pretty sure they did make it out of the outpost.” After quickly cleaning the entry and exit wounds, Lake got to work on bandaging both as best she could. “How badly are you crippled?”

“I’ll need to lean on you, lieutenant, but I believe I can keep pace.” Nefara winced a little as the bandage was gradually secured in place. “It would appear the Lucian Alliance have orders to capture primarily. The one chasing me was repeatedly aiming for the legs. Though I do not know how long that order will stand.”

“As in, they’ll start aiming for fatal wounds?”

Nefara looked down at Lake for a few moments, having heard the fear in her voice. “I was not alone on the way here. But I couldn’t retrieve his body while dragging my right foot.”

Lake went quiet after securing the bandage, her eyes cast downward. “I’m sorry to hear that. I was ordered to come straight here, never caught sight of a Tok’ra body along the way.”

“I don’t mean to burden you with grim thoughts, lieutenant. His fate is concluded, ours is still quite open. And I intend to see that we both return to safety.”

“No argument here.” Lake got back up to her feet, motioning for Nefara to wait a little longer as she began scouting the area outside. “Give me one minute to check the perimeter, then we move out.”

“I’m not one to rush, even under dire circumstances. I’ll do what I can to cover you from this angle.”

“Thanks. I hope you’re a clean shot with that thing.”

Lake proceeded out the back door, weapon on eyeline for a closer scan of the foliage surrounding them. Still no sign of approach, even from the direction of combat. It had since shifted from when she had entered the trading post, moving further in the direction of the gate. Knowing they had succeeded in falling back to secure the way home was all the reason she needed to pick up her own pace.

In the debriefing, outside the flow of memory, Lake began to break down as she relived the exact point where she made her crucial mistake.

“They’re falling back to the gate. We need to move now.”

She moved back inside the trading post to Nefara’s side. The wound on the left leg meant supporting her on the right shoulder, not ideal for her ability to fire, but better than leaving both off-balance the entire way.

“No sign of approach from the south-east.”

“We’ll have to chance it. The other teams have too much on their hands right now, I can’t ask them to send people our way. Let’s go.”

Keeping her P90 in the left hand, she wrapped her right arm behind Nefara’s shoulders to help her lean off the wall at last. After a bit of work, they found a suitable balance between both where she could keep her left foot from dragging too much. Getting caught on the underbrush would be dangerous for them both if they needed to hide quickly.

Getting to the door was all the time they had to practise getting in stride before the desperate hobble began. The path beyond was still in an early phase, with plenty of trodden roots and reaching snares laid across it. None that were strong enough to stand up to some quick kicks from Lake, but that was always prone to change with every step.

“So, Nefara. Ignoring all the classified and irrelevant details, were you able to complete your mission?”

Nefara smiled at the specific way that question was phrased. “Partially. Since we are ignoring everything else, I hope that is a satisfactory answer.”

“Yeah, well, kinda heard the Tok’ra like to be secretive, kinda like how the SGC was for a while. I joined the program at an entry-level right around the time the Replicators fell, wasn’t on base for that. And I didn’t complete offworld training until the Ori threat was already over. First full engagement, first time meeting the Tok’ra.”

“An unfortunate combination, then. Admittedly, we have been involved with fewer cooperative exercises and encampments over the past few years, but perhaps that is about to-”

A burst of loud gunfire rang out behind them both.

Lake didn’t even have time to turn before she felt a searing pain in her right arm, at the same time the first bullet shot right through below Nefara’s collarbone.

The wide spread of the gunfire saw some of those shots fly around them both, but not enough to spare her from another three brutal impacts in the moments before Lake’s grip failed altogether.

Adrenaline rushed through her body as she fell back onto raw reflex. Despite the searing sensation in her right arm, she still whipped it around to steady her weapon as she span down into a steady aim position. The moment she saw grey in the reticule, she fired off a sharp volley.

She counted over a dozen impacts in her target’s centre of mass before he fell to the ground. Unquestionably dead at that point. And with no others in view, the only threat to them at that moment.

When the adrenaline wore off, her body began to twist in a deep sinking sensation. His approach was from the angle she had failed to check before pushing to leave. Haste to reach the gate had now cost the life of the Tok’ra she was there to rescue.

*

In the briefing room, Lake finally had to halt her recount as the full brunt of that memory became too much. Reconsidering her actions that day had put a lot of guilt on her mind. Facing it so vividly reinforced what she believed all along.

“I got her killed. I wanted to get back to the gate as quickly as possible. I was afraid of more showing up than we handle. And I got sloppy with the one job I had. All I had to do was look around a damn corner.”

There was no response from the end of the table for a while. Malek was simply saddened by the revelation, and even a little sympathetic for how personally Lake was taking her failure.

Landry remained equally quiet, thinking it over at length while letting her work through the turmoil of the moment. It wasn’t the complete story after all, and determining whether it was negligence or simply a subpar choice was something that would need further debate.

For the moment, he wanted to focus on the point he had made to her the night before.

“Hard as it is to accept, spending extra time patrolling properly is not an instant guarantee of success. You may have been taken out as soon as you came into view, or started a firefight that would have drawn in more ground troops on your position. Conflict is always vague and uncertain, and decisiveness is as vital as thoroughness.”

“If I may, General?” Malek broke his silence after that, leaning away from the detector screen to look directly at Lake. “Tok’ra operatives all bear the understanding that death is preferable to capture, specifically because of the existence of the sarcophagus. Any Tok’ra would have made the decision to flee before being encircled, or even trapped behind enemy lines.”

“When you’re ready, lieutenant. We do need to know what happened in the remaining time before you stepped through the gate.”

Lake did her best to recompose herself, nodding when she eventually felt comfortable enough to continue. The rest of the recollection was more harrowing for her anyway.

“After I, uh, I killed the attacker. I was in shock. It took me longer to get back to Nefara…”

*

Both her hands were shaking by the time she twisted around and started crawling over to the fallen Tok’ra. Her right arm was coated in blood by that point, and she could feel speckles across her face as well. All of that she consciously ignored to focus all her efforts on Nefara.

“Oh god. No, no you can get through this.”

Nefara was already struggling for breath, as every shot had damaged both lungs in different regions. The weak convulsions proved to be a sickening sight. There was little doubt that she was beyond what any symbiote could feasibly save her from.

“Lake…”

In desperation, Lake started reaching down under Nefara. Despite the strain it was putting on her right arm, she was ready to try and carry them both to the gate.

“I’ll get you out of here! Both of you! Just hold on!”

For a moment, Nefara’s eyes glowed with the next convulsion, though she shook that off with another desperate gasp for air.

“You have, to save Sina. Convince her, to leave me. Please. I can’t let her die with me.”

The nature of the request was clear enough to Lake. In the wake of her critical mistake, no part of her was willing to object to Nefara’s dying wish. But she was also unwilling to leave the host behind as the cost of saving the symbiote.

“Can she help me get you back? I only need to be strong enough to carry you. Maybe one of the other Tok’ra can heal you in time.”

Nefara’s bloodied cough was an unpleasant answer to the last question. All three knew that wasn’t going to happen, but only one of them had truly accepted it.

“Protect her, Lake. All I ask. Protect her.”

There was no more doubt, no more room for hesitation. After one small nod, Lake took a bracing breath, then leaned down to briefly lock lips with Nefara.

It took every bit of her will to not bite down or lurch back when she felt Sina launch up through the back of her throat. Her only comfort was that it was over within seconds, a few coughs later to clear her breathing again.

The pain was still present in her arm when she went back to picking Nefara up in her arms. That time, it happened with much greater ease, a rush of surging strength through her body that she could feel already starting to burn away at her muscles.

But, it would get them all to the gate much faster than before. Anything that happened to her after that point was inconsequential. All she needed to do was run, and pray that she wasn’t shot in the back herself.

She ran without slowing down for a second. Heated tension was rising through her legs as the muscles strained more and more. The clotting on her arm was starting to reopen, weakening her grip gradually as she charged down the path.

As soon as she saw the miraculous sight of an SG uniform ahead, she broke her own silence to call out as best she could.

“Wounded here! High piercing rounds!”

Colonel Renoylds was the one to first take notice, and upon seeing the Tok’ra in her arms, went straight for his radio.

“SGC! Need trauma team on standby in the gate room! Heavy casualty incoming!”

Lake didn’t stop once, bolting right past Reynolds on her way towards the gate when it came into sight. She could barely hear him rattling off the details he had gleaned from her pass-by, and giving the estimated time of arrival. Her whole body felt fiery by the time she thundered up the stairs, and practically threw herself through the gate.

*

“Incoming wormhole. Address matches Tok’ra homeworld.”

“Standby. We’ll wait for the IDC on this one.”

Landry and Malek were both watching the stargate from the control room once again. It was the pre-arranged time for contact from the Tok’ra homeworld, and the arrival of Jastur and Valence. Caution was still high amongst everyone involved.

“So, how do you intend to proceed?”

“They deserve the whole truth, and I will give it to them. Lake already has my support. The rest is at your discretion, general.”

“I was debating whether to have her actions analyzed by others. But, if she has the support of the Tok’ra as the wounded party, that may not be necessary. There’s still more factors I need to settle before I move for a final decision.”

“Wormhole established. Awaiting IDC.”

Malek looked over the signal readout briefly. “That is agreeable. I will ask Jastur and Valence to inform you of their assessment to that end. Will you wait for Colonel Carter to weigh in as well?”

“I was considering it. Rerouting to retrieve SG-1 on their own mission delays her return however, I think it should be Lake’s choice on whether to wait for her insight or not.”

“Tok’ra IDC confirmed. One individual waiting for clearance.”

“Open the iris. Defense team on standby.”

Shortly after the iris slid open, Valence emerged through the gate. Immediately, most in the room noticed the kara kesh on her left hand, the gold ribbon of the gauntlet standing out against her dark skin.

“I’m going to have to ask you to disarm at this time. Standard protocol until we complete the investigation.”

Valence turned her eyes to Malek, who gave her a nod to indicate compliance. That was all the assurance she needed to remove the device from her hand, holding it out afterwards for the hand over.

“Defense team stand down. Welcome to the SGC, Valence and Jastur.”

*

Both Malek and Jastur had remained silent for the duration of their walk to her guest quarters. While it had been Valence who spoke with Landry after the arrival, and listened to the recounting of Lake’s debrief, the discussion to be had in private was between the symbiotes specifically.

Malek remained wary, even as he closed the door to the room. Something he made clear enough to Jastur in his manner alone. “It was agreed with the humans that kara kesh were not to be brought to this place. Why did you ignore that directive?”

Surprisingly, Jastur wasn’t defensive, or insulted by his question, especially given her nature amongst the Tok’ra.

“It is the one gifted to me, by Sina. I made my plea to the Council, they know it is not capable of being used for offensive purposes.”

“You should have informed General Landry of as much, in that case. He is a very reasonable man. You may have even been allowed to continue wearing it, if sentimentality is that important to you.”

“This isn’t a matter of sentimentality.” Jastur lowered her gaze for some thought. Her own guilt was starting to surface. “I should have insisted she use one of her own, modified in the same manner. All Tok’ra should. Your brothers and sisters in arms would still be alive if they had the means to protect themselves properly. If not at the very least for the lives of their hosts!”

“Given that dozens more Tok’ra have died staring into the crystal of those wretched devices, I do not blame any for being averse to using them in turn! Even for their own protection!”

Jastur shook her head with a dismissive sigh as she started to pace away from Malek. A few moments to keep composed, and not fall back on her less savoury behaviour.

“I have tried to understand your ways! I even appreciate the resentment you all hold towards Goa’uld weaponry! But the willingness of the Tau’ri to adapt technology they obtain is what prompted Sina to modify the kara kesh to begin with! Perhaps I was foolish for assuming that the Tok’ra would be humble enough to learn something from them.”

With the tension growing uncomfortable, Malek sought to get things back on track before they escalated further.

“I apologize. You are correct in that many Tok’ra are slow to accept the new future we are working towards, in great part thanks to the Tau’ri. Sina is still alive thanks to Lieutenant Lake. It is through encouraging more cooperative behaviour like her selfless decision that will ensure our continued survival, I agree on that front.”

“Then perhaps next time, cooperation will save both host and symbiote. Make no mistake, in light of my past, I do place great emphasis on the equality of each life.”

Once things had calmed down enough, Jastur moved to one of the nearby chairs. While not in need for actual rest, it made clear her stance in a more metaphorical way.

“Valence and I have decided that she will speak on our behalf to those of the SGC. Including this lieutenant you clearly think highly of. I think I have proven I am not in the correct state of mind for handling such matters.”

“I think no less of you for it. We do not make light of the bond you shared.”

That got through to the deeper root of Jastur’s aggression, quelling the ingrained fire of her personality. “The fact that Sina lives does not diminish the tragedy of Nefara’s passing. For either of us. If anything, it is more painful to know that I cannot speak to Sina again for some time.”

Malek chose that time to take the seat opposite her. “I stand by Lake’s depiction of events as being accurate. The only individual I see as responsible for Nefara’s death is the man who shot her, and Lake herself ended him. Justice for the greater death suffered at the hands of the Lucian Alliance is where my focus lies.”

Jastur gave a mildly sarcastic smirk. “Interesting word choice, ‘justice’.” She lowered her eyes again for further thought. Her remark wasn’t a discussion she wanted to pursue, in the end. “Do you still believe a Tok’ra is in league with the Alliance? I expect if I were under suspicion, I wouldn’t have been allowed to come here.”

“I will not dismiss the notion of a traitor existing somewhere in the galaxy, that is all. You have proven your commitment to embracing the ideology of the Tok’ra, even if you disagree with some of our ways. And you would never have put Sina and Nefara in danger. Your loyalty is not under question in the slightest.”

“And yet, the Tau’ri have not been told of my past. Do you doubt their judgement of Tok’ra loyalty?”

“Informing them of your past is a matter that only you have a right to handle. But I have come to respect General Landry these past few days. I believe he will prove understanding, if you decide to tell him.”

Jastur leaned back in her chair, narrowing her gaze at Malek. “And what of this Lake individual? Does the same apply?”

Malek half smiled at that. To him, the answer was clear enough. “Yes.”

*

For the whole duration of the redressing, Lake hadn’t said a word. Having finally relived what happened in vivid detail made the wound on her arm feel cold. The change of bandages after ensuring it wasn’t infected seemed trivial.

In a way, it felt karmic, and not nearly as serious as she deserved. Especially when staring across the infirmary to where Verne was laid out. The bandage stump of their left leg being the only thing she could keep a focus on. Liam off to her further right having his own wounds redressed wasn’t something she cared to watch anyway.

She flinched a little when she saw Malek escorting another Tok’ra to the room beyond where Sina was waiting. For the moment, she didn’t know what to think about them anymore. No particular answer ever felt right in her mind.

“Well, it’s a good thing you’ve kept up to date on your tetanus shots.”

Lake blinked a few times, only now noticing Dr Lam had come to her side.

“Mom’s always been insistent about vaccines. She’s a veterinarian, guess it’s an everyday thing for her. Not that she was the one giving me the vaccines of course.”

Lam gave a mild smile at that to try and ease the mood. “Blood work has come back clean. Physically speaking, aside from the flesh wound, you’re in good health. Won’t even need basic antibiotics. How do you feel mentally?”

With some hesitation, Lake reached up to the needle mark on the side of her head. Even brief contact with the region made her wince, prompting her hand back down.

“I’m not sure. I do know I asked Sina to give me extra strength to get Nefara back. She must’ve bonded a little to do that. Probably why I was seeing those bits of Nefara’s memory of being shot.”

“I did ask Malek about it, and he didn’t have a conclusive answer either. I’m glad that question is resolved.”

Lake’s eyes drifted towards the lab door after that. Her following question seemed so obvious that Lam actually hushed her down to answer it immediately.

“Jastur and Valence, symbiote and host. Sina and Nefara’s partners. They arrived a little over an hour ago from what I’ve heard.”

“Then I guess that’s my cue to leave. I’m probably the last person either of them want to see right now.”

“Well, like I said, there’s nothing else to check up on. Provided you don’t have any more side effects from the partial blending, I’ll see you in a couple of days when we swap that bandage over for a patch.”

“Or if Landry approves my request.”

Lam twisted her lips at that. “About becoming Sina’s host, you mean? You sure I’m not going to ‘judge you as unfit to make life-changing decisions’ first?”

Lake’s face went through a series of mostly awkward expressions, all met with a stern look in return.

“I suppose an apology isn’t enough. What I said to the general, I didn’t mean as a personal attack. Bringing up your relation was a mistake, and I am sorry for that much.”

“I don’t appreciate having words put in my mouth behind closed doors, lieutenant. Especially when it’s in regards to something that’s not even my call to make. My responsibility is keeping people alive, not second-guessing their life decisions.”

Lake nodded in a very withdrawn way, feeling put in place after that. “Yes doctor.”

“Good. I hope that’s the last time we stop behaving like professionals in regards to each other. On your way then.”

There was no hiding the dejected feeling when Lake got off the bed and promptly left the infirmary. In a way, debating her actions in the field of combat was somehow easier to deal with than being called out on stupid things she said.

It was enough to start sliding her into a bad mood. Hearing Liam catch up behind her added to that decline.

“Hey, Michelle, you okay?”

“I said all I’m going to at lunch.”

While taken aback at the snappy tone, Liam still decided to keep up with her and try again. “I’m not talking about the Tok’ra thing.”

“There’s nothing else to discuss. What happened between me and Dr Lam isn’t your concern.”

Twice burned, Liam was far more cautious on his third, and almost certainly last attempt to get through to her.

“Michelle…” He turned his lip inward and lightly clapped his hands in a bit of awkwardness when she finally turned to look at him. The glare was definitely unusual for her.

“I can’t order you to leave me alone, since we share the same rank. So I’m asking you to.”

“Look, some of the other junior officers are working out a games night on base. Something to help cheer up the others who didn’t get lucky out there. No obligation to come, I figured it was worth letting you know instead of assuming you wouldn’t care.”

Lake rolled her eyes at the notion. Though it did take her mind off the embarrassment earlier, if only for a little while. According to Jayce, that was the key to working through her larger issues properly.

“If it’s tonight, pass. I really need to sleep today off. Too many decisions others are making that I need to hear about tomorrow.”

“It’s in two days, actually. We still need Landry to sign off on it, and for the quartermaster to pull some extra supplies. If it goes ahead, all you have to do is show up.”

Partying was still the last thing on Lake’s mind, even without the talking down she had been through to think about. From her perspective, she was hardly a beacon of joy under normal circumstances anyway. Not someone that would be missed by the junior officers as a whole.

“Fine. In the meantime, I reiterate that I’d like to be left alone. Okay?”

“Okay. I hope you’ll still be with the team when this is over. That’s all.”

Lake shook her head in an uncertain way. That was starting to reach the trailing end of things she was thinking about.

“I need to see how things pan out. And please, don’t go to Landry about it on my behalf. I mean it.”

She continued on her way with a very clear indication for him to not follow. With the day coming to a close, she felt very different from the previous. There were a lot more clear answers, and a lot more questions and decisions outside her control.

Calling her parents was an idea left in mind by Jayce, but still too soon after the debriefing for her to handle properly. She wouldn’t be able to keep straight-laced the entire call, and she also couldn’t tell them anything about why she was still upset.

At the elevator intersection, she finally came to a stop. Her introspective daze wore off, no longer wandering about the base without any real awareness or acknowledgement of those she passed. Sleep now seemed like a much more appealing prospect than it had the last time.

“Lieutenant Lake?”

Her hands clenched at her name being called out, though the voice was unfamiliar. After a couple of breaths, she let the tension ease off.

Only to feel it come right back to the surface as she saw Valence approaching slowly. One conversation that she hadn’t yet been able to prepare herself for, given she had only learned of the pair minutes earlier.

Malek had made it clear that he was on her side in the mess, and that was about her only point of confidence in facing what the other Tok’ra had to say.

“Yeah, I’m Lake. If this is about Nefara, I’ve already given my debrief. There’s nothing to add to it.”

Valence came to a stop at a respectable distance from Lake, where she wouldn’t be in the way of foot traffic either. Having already seen the discomfort, she did her best to put that much at ease with her own demeanour.

“I know. I was hoping to discuss other matters, if you are able. Specifically with regards to your request.”

That was enough for Lake to lower her guard around the Tok’ra. The tone in Valence’s voice said enough. There wasn’t hostility or bitterness directed at her, just sadness. And understandably so.

Their perspectives were wildly different from each other, but there was already a degree of common ground to start from.

“I was expecting it to be Malek I had that particular discussion with. Are you okay with it?”

“It’s as difficult for us both as you’d expect. But, for what you’ve already done, and tried to do for the Tok’ra, I owe you no less.”

*

A short, and understandably quiet ride up in the elevator eventually brought them to Valence’s quarters. Arguably more suitable for their discussion than one of the interview rooms as those were monitored. Valence herself was still clear about her intent for privacy for the time being.

She waited for Lake to sit before closing the door fully, taking a breath of her own.

“Sina and Nefara were very close to use both for a simple reason. They were the first of the Tok’ra to truly understand, to reach out to us despite our nature. Jastur’s specifically.”

Lake’s eyes followed Valence as she moved around to sit on the bed. Only after she had settled down did the truth tick over.

“You’re a Goa’uld? As in, Jastur is?”

Valence nodded solemnly. “She is not of Egeria’s lineage, thus she is not inherently Tok’ra.” She went silent after that, watching Lake to gauge her reaction in full.

There was no sudden shift towards fear or apprehension from Lake upon learning that. It definitely made her stop to think, and her glances at Valence made clear she was taking the revelation seriously, reevaluating the Tok’ra-in-name further. But in the end, there was only the sensation that came with being trusted with so great a secret.

“I’m surprised you wanted to start out with that, to be honest.”

“So far, you are the second of the Tau’ri to be made aware of this. The first was Jacob Carter, though we rarely interacted in the time he was among us. Given what occurred with another Goa’uld named Tanith not long before we joined the Tok’ra, we thought it best to keep our distance. What Malek told us of you led me to believe you would be more receptive to the truth.”

Lake glanced away for a few moments, her mind drifting back to some of those less pleasant memories she kept buried. “My parents came to this country from Korea when I was young. I suppose I’ve had my fair share of experience being the one people don’t like to be around. Kids in my case, I guess.”

She looked back to Valence with a bit of renewed confidence. “I get it, though. People suck, and some of them love to focus on the past as if that’s all that matters. Kinda hard to argue when looking at the history of atrocities committed by the bigger Goa’uld names though. Is that why Jastur defected?”

“It was far more nuanced than that.” Valence took another long breath for what was bound to be quite a tale. “She was set to become an ashrak of Olokun, and I was raised by his worshippers to be her host. Physically trained by the Jaffa incubating her, mentally conditioned by the priestesses to meet my fate willingly. I’ve come to realize, I was very fortunate in a way. I never experienced the terror that other hosts went through. Even after I was taken, I welcomed her.”

“I don’t think brainwashing of that kind makes it any less horrific.”

“From the perspective of others, perhaps. But, it is what allowed Jastur and I to remain blended in the end. As equals that have come to care for each other, and others. I do agree that it does not make the forceful taking of a host any less despicable than it rightfully is. Jastur I forgave for it, because she earned that forgiveness.”

Lake went back to her more quiet state. The sincerity in Valence’s voice was so clear, as well as her eagerness to make her stance known. Interrupting it with accusations wasn’t what she wanted to do any more.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to accuse you of brushing it off like it was an excuse. I take it you ran into the Tok’ra down the line, and that’s when things changed?”

“Actually, Jastur began to change of her own accord, well before meeting Sina, though it was through very minute increments. I was always confused when she hesitated to carry out Olokun’s orders at various times. I could feel the moments where she doubted him in many ways. Gradually, when she would meditate, I started to reach out from within, asking why she questioned what I believed to be his divine power.”

She lowered her head at that point for a few seconds, concealing the eye glow out of habit as she allowed Jastur herself to speak for a time.

“Ascending the ranks of his ashrak gave me a greater insight into his shortcomings as a System Lord. He resented Nirrti for overshadowing him in his pursuit of science, and that lead to a great insecurity in his ego. Had I sought to gain the support of the Jaffa, and climbed to be his left hand, I may have overthrown him and taken his dominion as my own.”

“Obviously you didn’t take that path.” Lake tilted her head a little as she looked closer into Jastur’s expression. Though it was the same face, there was definitely a different manner about her compared to Valence.

“His growing insecurity was something he struggled to conceal from the other System Lords. In doing so, it left him more vulnerable to infiltration by the Tok’ra. That is when I first encountered Sina, who for a time proved to be a rival in her cover as an agent of Heru’ur.”

Once again, she lowered her head to let Valence continue on.

“Sina positioned herself well. For a time, Jastur was convinced she was in fact working for Heru’ur, possibly even to kill Olokun in his name. By then, we had actually started to form a rapport in the most limited sense. She felt threatened by Sina, feeling that she would be killed when Heru’ur subsumed Olokun’s domain into his own. For the first time, I dared to suggest a plan to Jastur, and I was rather surprised when she decided to act upon it. Rather than attacking Sina to elevate herself in Olokun’s eyes, she was persuaded into forming a pact instead.”

“The two would work together to weaken Olokun’s position, and then when Heru’ur took over, Jastur would be allowed to join his ranks instead. If he’d allow that.”

“Goa’uld despise weakness, and in her eyes, she would have been seen as cunning for helping to depose a weaker lord. But, she soon came to believe that Sina would take her out as well to claim the glory for herself, and wanted to end the pact.

“Let me guess, by going out to kill Sina?”

“Actually, she told Sina to leave, and return to Heru’ur’s side before she was outed to Olokun. Jastur was going to kill him herself, and face Heru’ur in battle in turn, or die in the attempt and meet what she believed was her inevitable fate. I couldn’t believe that she was resigning herself to defeat, and that’s when she relinquished control. For the first time in over ten years, I was speaking as myself again.”

That left Lake engaged by the story enough to not make further remarks. Anything more just didn’t seem appropriate any longer.

“I was still under the condition to obey Jastur, and insisted on giving her control again, but that outburst was enough for Sina to reveal herself as a Tok’ra. A triple agent in that case.”

That time, the exchange of control was marked by a small display of emotion on Jastur’s part. Compared to Valence, that part of their shared history was impactful in a very different way.

“Everything ingrained into memory from my queen made clear that I was to kill her on the spot. But, the arrogance had been worn away by my impossible predicament, and with the inner conflict I faced after both growing to respect and fear her intentions, I lacked the will to attack her. I had proven myself a fundamentally flawed Goa’uld. I even considered leaving Valence to convince Sina destroy me. To be shamed by a Tok’ra that had proven herself superior in deception, as well as tact, was too much to bear.”

Another surge of various feelings came from Jastur, conveyed through Valence in a way so unique to the pair.

“She refused to end me. She became convinced that being able to turn even one Goa’uld to the ways of the Tok’ra was far more significant than fanning the flames of infighting between the System Lords. What had been our secret meetings to plot Olokun’s demise became our meetings to help me overcome my own worst traits as a Goa’uld. And eventually, as I learned to let Valence assert herself, to let her learn from Nefara, those nights became something more.”

Lake’s eyes lowered again, starting to lose herself in thought at the true understanding of what had brought the two shared beings together. The significance of their bond was beyond what she had expected. Her insistence on becoming Sina’s host now started to feel like a selfish, ignorant intrusion in a way.

“So, I take it she persuaded you to eventually leave Olokun’s service and join the Tok’ra full time?”

“In part. Apophis resurfaced, having taken over Sokar’s domain, and the balance of power quickly shifted against Heru’ur. Keeping Olokun in power to resist Apophis was decided to be more worthwhile. And thus, when Sina was recalled, I accompanied her.”

Control returned to Valence again, who took the moment to wipe her eyes clear of Jastur’s tears. “Learning to share my body with Jastur is what helped us begin to earn the Tok’ra’s trust in the end. While I was still inclined to let her take over whenever she wished, the strong distrust they had for her meant that she wanted to stay hidden instead. Sina and Nefara advocated for us both, and I spoke for Jastur for quite a while. I think the reversal of our positions is when we truly came to understand the existence of each other as equals.”

She smiled softly after that, nodding in a moment of self-assurance. “We have both been strong advocates for the safety of both host and symbiote amongst the Tok’ra since. They had understandably fallen into the mentality of preserving the symbiotes as much as possible, given they were finite in number. Even Nefara believed as much, right to the end by your account.”

It took a while for Lake to give any kind of reaction after all that. Her encounter in the forest seemed so trivial by comparison, and her failure all the worse for how much of an impact it had caused for Nefara’s partner. Especially at that point, she felt very insignificant.

“I’m not sure what to think, anymore. The bond you shared, there’s no way I could ever hope to live up to that as Sina’s new host.”

Valence nodded in agreement, taking another long breath as she managed a smile through it. “You don’t need to. I wanted you to understand the significance of the Tok’ra duality. You would be far more than ‘Sina’s host’, and certainly not the shadow of the woman I loved. Sina will always care deeply for Jastur and myself. But I want her new host, whomever that may be, to be able to forge a new identity with her. The host shouldn’t ever be bound by the legacy of their predecessor.”

With the vast amount of new insights and such to take in, Lake nodded solemnly as she started to get up at last.

“I need to think about all this. Thank you for being so open about your past. I don’t think anyone has ever trusted me as much as you just have. That means a great deal to me.”

“You have earned it, Michelle Lake of Korea. I will respect and support your decision, whichever option you pick, and make as much known to General Landry. Thank you for listening.”

Not a word was spoken by Lake since. Her departure from the room went quietly, as did the long walk back to the women’s bunk a few floors above. Right up until she reached her own bed, her head hitting the pillow, the only sound she made was a small sigh.

Her body needed sleep. Her mind was going to be busy putting together all that had happened, and trying to make sense of it in full.

And hopefully, a clear answer would come to her from the midst of it all.

*

“Gotta say, Sam, hasn’t quite been the same without you.”

Carter grinned at Mitchell’s remark with a sentimental hum. Both were in dress uniform at that stage, casually making their way towards the gate room at a rate that would allow the others to catch up.

“It was hard being away from SG-1 at first, when I went to Atlantis. I do miss the team, but I can’t walk out on the crew of the _Hammond_.”

“Wouldn’t ask you to anyway. Let’s face it, we’re both bustling for command, and if I’m not in the seat of a fighter, I’m not in a seat period. You on the other hand have earned it.”

“Aw, thanks. I’ll remember that when they start asking if you’re ready to hit brigadier general.”

Mitchell came to a halt at that. Any chance to try and rebuke Carter’s teasing was put on hold when Daniel and Vala walked up instead. Both were dressed sharply in their own choice of civilian attire.

“Jackson, Vala. I was just telling Sam how much we’ve missed having her on the team. Care to add to that?”

Daniel lifted his eyebrows at being put on the spot, and promptly folded his arms across his chest when Carter looked right at him for that. “Uh, well. I agree? It has been different without you on the team. Then again, knowing there’s a whole ship ready to come to our aid is a pretty good trade-off.”

“Oh absolutely. I mean if you hadn’t shown up at just the right time, Mitchell would’ve been a lot worse off in that brawl-”

“Hey-”

“-and it’d be all vrrrp! Lights out for us both.” Vala added some visual flair with her hands to her personalized sound effects, mostly to tease him. Seeing it make Carter smile again was the real victory for her though. “But seriously, thanks. Maybe we can work out some way to add a bit of a nice ‘Mal Doran’ flair to it soon?”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. It’s not ‘my ship’ for starters. And...”

The approach of Landry gave her a very convenient way out of the awkward shut down. “Sir. Everything’s in order, here, sir.”

Landry waved down both Carter and Mitchell’s stand to attention. “At ease. Just making sure you’re all ready. Teal’c’s meeting with the honour guard the Jaffa sent this morning, he’ll be along shortly.”

“That’s good to hear. That the Jaffa are willing to show their support like that.”

“It seems that despite tensions with the Tok’ra in the past, enough of them have started to come around to the idea that we really are united in this impending fight against the Alliance. Right now, an honour guard for the fallen is a very potent gesture on their part.”

“I guess what Teal’c said to them got through after all.” Daniel shrugged as everyone looked to him briefly. “When we couldn’t turn up anything on our side of the search, we decided to meet with the reformed Jaffa Council. They want the Lucian Alliance gone as much as anyone, but at the time it seemed like they were still planning on doing it their own way. Maybe that’ll change.”

“We can always hope. Mitchell, Vala, if you could give us a minute, there’s someone who’d like to meet Carter and Dr Jackson.”

“Right, because we’re the ‘new’ faces around here.” Mitchell smiled it off to show he wasn’t actually resentful of that request, continuing on towards the gateroom in turn.

After some eyeball gesturing, Vala was finally persuaded to do the same.

Carter blinked a few times while glancing around to see who was being referred to. “Any particular reason why they requested the two of us?”

“You’ve met her in a way already. And she’s made it clear she’s not comfortable talking to too many people at once. I’ll let her explain the rest. Excuse me.”

Shortly after Landry left, Lake approached the remaining pair with a confident stride in her step. Like Carter, she was also in military dress, in her case the first time since she had left the academy.

“Lieutenant Michelle Lake. You’ve already met my Tok’ra symbiote, Sina.”

Carter and Daniel both looked to each other in great surprise, and continued their simultaneous behaviour with their immediate question.

“You’re a host?”

Lake tilted her head about with a smile. “I’ve grown to understand a lot about the Tok’ra over the past week. I want to start bringing our worlds together. To try and continue what your father started, Colonel.”

It gave Carter a moment’s pause. But the sentiment ran deep to her, and before long she was smiling warmly at the notion.

“I’m sure he’d be proud. He wasn’t happy with how we were drifting away from the Tok’ra. Seeing how far we’ve come from that, I know he’d approve.”

Daniel reached across to grip Carter’s shoulder lightly, still looking to Lake. “It’s a large responsibility to uphold, and I respect your commitment to it. Does this mean you’ll be leaving the SGC as well?”

“Actually, the plan is to remain with Earth-based operations as a Tok’ra liaison. Sina’s more of a field operative, and I want to stay with SG-7 for a while longer.” She grinned after that. “Though, I have been considering a visit to Atlantis once my tenure with the team is done. I hear they found a personal shield device years ago. Sina’s quite interested in taking a look at it, something of a hobby of hers is personal shielding.”

“Well…” There was another shared look between Carter and Daniel, the former continuing her line of thought shortly after. “I suppose we are the two people on base most familiar with Atlantis. I did run it for about a year after all. If you have any questions before then, come find us.”

“If you do decide to visit, tell Rodney I said hi. He seems overbearing at first, but if Sina can put up with that, you could make some interesting new discoveries. He really is good at what he does, but doesn’t need to be reminded of it. If you get my meaning.”

Lake laughed that part off with sincere amusement. “I’ll keep that mind, if we decide to go. Like I said, still got a few months at least with SG-7. I think everyone’s waiting for me to make captain before they start working out special Tok’ra assignments.”

Right at that moment, Walter hopped down from the control room. “They’re ready for you.”

After a nod to him, Lake reached her hand out to the others. “I am glad to have met you both. Wouldn’t have come this far in the program without what you’ve done to pave the way.”

Once the handshake was over, she made her way over to the gateroom, joining the gathering of Tok’ra to prepare for her part of the ceremony.

Daniel slowly tilted his head in a moment of awkward thought. “Sina. I’m having a harder time remembering who she was.”

“She helped us with taking out Anubis’ superweapon by getting you and Jonas on board without being detected. Not long after you de-ascended the first time.”

“Oh. Right. That explains not remembering her as much as I should.” He tightened his brow with a sullen thought. “I don’t recall ever taking the time to talk with her former host. Didn’t even learn her name.”

“That’s something Sina wants to correct, clearly. It was Lake we were talking to just now.” Carter chewed on her lower lip as Daniel’s point became clearer to her. “But, you’re right. Aside from Martouf, and to a lesser extent Freya, we’ve only really been getting to know the symbiotes these past years.”

“Well, in that case, I hope they both make some progress in evening things out. There’s still a lot we can learn from both halves of the Tok’ra people. And it should be both that we listen to.”

*

Soon enough, the ceremony was underway. The two fallen Tok’ra whose bodies had been recovered in the escape stood alongside Nefara’s in white wrappings. Held above the boarding ramp by bamboo supports, directly in the path of the stargate’s unstable vortex.

The small podium was set at the base of the ramp, facing towards the coffins that remained. Everyone else in attendance were gathered at respectful positions, a true spread of human, Tok’ra and Jaffa amongst them all.

Landry had spoken first on behalf of the SGC, not holding back the praise and humility he had for those that had died from both groups. Soon after, the closest to each took their turn to speak, furthering the procession with their stories.

Eventually, it was Sina’s turn to speak, Malek having spoken for the Tok’ra as a whole. When the moment came, both she and Lake had come to agree that she needed to speak for Nefara alone.

“The blended life of a Tok’ra, is an experience that varies in ways few of us could truly grasp the scope of. Nefara was a young woman when we first joined, a stark change from the older hosts that had helped me in the past. She unveiled to me a new perspective on many things. A willingness to adapt. And above all else, the capacity to reach out, and forgive.”

Valence took that single moment to wipe her eyes clear.

“The changing balance of power in the galaxy since the rise of the Tau’ri showed us both that the struggles of the Tok’ra were no longer toward an intangible goal. There is only one occasion on which she felt more proud, than the day the System Lords were finally brought down. She felt fulfilled that what she believed was her minute contribution to that effort had seen our cause to its completion. I believe she inspired far more than a sliver of that victory.”

Sina took a moment to glance down, allowing Lake a chance to resurface if she desired. The insistence from within on continuing herself prompted her to look back up.

“Though I now share a new body, both I and Michelle will not forget the achievements made by Nefara herself. It was through cooperation that we were able to succeed, where being at odds with each other, as with the Goa’uld and their hosts, would have surely meant our demise. It is that call to cooperation, and unification, that I make in Nefara’s name.”

With a nod to Landry, she stepped down from the podium to stand alongside the SGC personnel, and salute the three Tok’ra. That salute was echoed by everyone else in turn.

“Goodbye, old friend.”

“Walter, begin custom dialling sequence.”

The sequence itself was simple enough, mimicking the function of a DHD dialling an empty address. Enough to open the wormhole precisely long enough for the unstable discharge to occur, and then dissipate on its own.

All three bodies were vaporized, as was Tok’ra tradition. In the minute that followed, the entire base went silent. Two forms of a similar tradition being unified into one.

**Author's Note:**

> There's already ideas in mind for an Atlantis/Wraith based plot that Lake and Sina would later become involved in. Won't be committing to that for a while yet, not until I'm ready. I'm still considering whether to take the novels as canon to the fic or not, given I like some of what's presented, and disagree with other parts. Guess we'll see.
> 
> A deeper exploration of Jastur and Valence's backstory could be another option. (Yeah, lesbian Goa'uld/Tok'ra story, so original of me lol.) I wouldn't mind doing stuff with Teal'c and the Jaffa as well. Plenty of story ideas starting from here, staying motivated is the key for me. Hope you all enjoyed this random one-shot.


End file.
